5 Reasons This Mama Doesn’t Dress Up For Halloween

Hooray, it’s Mommy Monday again… or Mummy Monday since I’m trying to be all Halloweenish and all. Halloween has been boosting my writing for sure because I have upteen million Halloween-related pins to try. As I mentioned last week, I’ve been making costumes for my kids now for 3 years. More about them later. It’s Mummy Monday, it’s me time. There are tonnnnnsssssss of ideas for adult costumes, couple costumes, family costumes, etc. And even though I love Pinterest and making my littles costumes, let me say this slowly, steadily, loud and clear for everyone to hear (ok or read… I’m not talking to myself… or am I? oh geez can people hear me?) I WILL NOT BE MAKING MYSELF A COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN. Or better yet THIS MAMA IS NOT DRESSING UP FOR HALLOWEEN. AT ALL.

Oh here we go again… some mama giving us reasons why we shouldn’t dress up like Glenda the Good Witch for our Tin Man and Cowardly Lion…

I ain’t about that… I’m not going to judge you for what you do or do not do for Halloween. I love Halloween, as you can tell from my posts. I just am not going to dress up. And I’m writing this post because I realize that there are women out there pressured by Pinterest to go all out and make everyone coordinate in costume because they are scared they will look like a bad mom if they don’t contribute to their child’s Halloween ambiance/experience. They feel the pressure to do something they don’t really honestly want to do. Don’t feel bad mamas. I’m going to give you 5 reasons (and good ones in my opinion) that I don’t dress up for Halloween. Feel free to use them in response to that snarky friend’s remarks.

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1. I’m not a child anymore, but I have children

This is obvious. I’m not a kid. Halloween is for everyone. However, dressing up is for kids. Moreover, I have children that I can live vicariously through at the moment. I can still “suggest” ideas that I like for costumes, and they go along with it. I don’t need to dress up, because I can still dress them up. Duh… it’s like having a real baby doll… and they look cuter as princesses than I ever will. Once they are old enough to not fall to my suggestions, then they too will not be children anymore. Child psychology especially the reverse kind is fabulous!!!

2. I get candy anyways

Not only can I dress my kids up as I wish, I can also steal their candy. This is called “taste testing” or “sharing.” And my kids also always go for the crappy suckers and Spongebob “crabby patty” candy things. I don’t want that mess. Give me Reese’s. I’m pretty convinced that the whole “poison/razors” in candy thing was invented by parents who wanted first dibs. Sorry babies… Mommy is pretty sure that all of the chocolate is laced in arsenic… better stick to the Smarties.

3. The twins don’t fit.

The twins don’t fit… I don’t mean the four-year old ones… I mean the ones I’ve had since 13. Actually all of my bootylicious ain’t going in something without making me look like a prostitute. Most of the costumes made for adults are skanktaculous. Or stupid. Do I look like I want to go dressed as a bottle of ketchup? And if I want to dress up as a condiment, it isn’t going to be boring old ketchup… I mean I would be honey mustard at least. Or hot sauce…

4. Heck if I’m coordinating with my kids

I wear their boogers on my arm sleeves and jeans half of the time… I’ll be dang if I’m going to dress up for Halloween to coordinate with whatever they are wearing. No I will not be Princess Leia in my kid’s Star Wars Halloween group. I will not play Queen Anybody for the Princesses. Do not ask me to be one of the Bubble Guppies. If my kids need extras for their Halloween production, then we can get together with other mamas and cast their friends. I will not tromp around from door to door in a hoop skirt because it will be cute and we can win a group costume contest. It is not happening. I will stick to Frumpy Mommy… they can coordinate with that if they want.

5. I’m scary enough

Have you seen me after dressing up and pinning and tying and face painting twin preschoolers for Halloween? I’m scary enough.. the end.

It doesn’t matter if you dress up or don’t dress up for Halloween. Just remember that you are the mommy and it is up to you. Don’t feel bad for not participating, you do enough trust me. You will be much more comfortable on Halloween night if you do what you want to do. I’ve seen the moms who look miserable in their costumes. They aren’t having fun and they aren’t enjoying their time. Your kids will not have a better Halloween if you are dressed up. And they won’t have a worse Halloween if you are. Well unless you go as Nurse Spanky. Not a good idea… Better save those costumes for the Hubby. As long as you are there for your kids, they will have a wonderful Halloween.

If you haven’t had a chance to enter the Spooky Halloween Letters Giveaway, you can do so by clicking the image below:

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6 thoughts on “5 Reasons This Mama Doesn’t Dress Up For Halloween

  1. Haha, this was hilarious! I haven’t dressed for years because I haven’t had a reason, but I’m actually looking forward to (sort of) dressing up for Halloween this year, now that I have an excuse. But I’m over the skanky costumes available for woman, wth?

    Like

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