I’m gonna lose it. We found out today that the girls officially got accepted to the 5 day a week Pre-k program at the same school their brother will be attending kindergarten. I am cool with this. I wanted this. Last years hectic chaos of 2 preschools 10 minutes away was completely ridic. I went crazy every morning trying to get all of those kids to all of those places. Not to mention the scramble to find a sometimes sitter when our schedules didn’t mesh. I am so thankful for the program and the education our kiddies will be getting. I’ve even been school supply shopping and their book bags are neatly lined up on the fireplace.
But I think if I write in sharpie another name, or zip up another pocket, or see another box of crayons, I’m gonna flip out yall. I will use every single tissue in the extra boxes I bought. Those little snot noses can use their sleeves. This mommy is having a school-induced meltdown.
I feel awful like I’m abandoning my children. I’m shipping them off to complete strangers for 6 WHOLE HOURS! I’m sending them to the land of rectangular pizza and little milk cartons where they sleep on a 6 inch thick plastic mat inches away from carpet contaminated with who knows what?!! They won’t have my hand to hold if they’re scared. They won’t have someone to scratch or “get their spot” on their back. No more cuddling watching Sofia and Doc on Friday mornings. When is Christmas break?
I’m a mess. And I know it’s normal. They aren’t in kindergarten yet. We can play hookie on Fridays. But in the meantime will this lady they call teacher know how important those two little girls are? Will she smile at their funny faces? Will she know that one likes purple and the other pink? When they fall down, will she pick them up? Can they be her big helpers sometimes? Will she beam with pride when they write their name or tie their shoe? Does she know that they were tiny when they came into this world and were so strong even though they were preemies? Will they miss me? Will they want to come home? Will they cry? Will I stop crying? Where’s that box of tissues?
This is the hard part. The growing up part. We aren’t given little hands and feet to hold for long. So tonight I won’t cook. We will eat out BBQ sandwiches and burgers and hot chips. We will cuddle and watch Rio 2. We will suck it up because school is the best and I am raising wonderful, smart, beautiful little girls who will do amazingly. I will cherish the last week of school and last year before “real school” starts. And at 2:15 I will be there with a hug and an afterschool snack I will probably find on Pinterest.