I’m back! We took a little vacation to the beach for a few days. It was so nice, and we actually stayed in “the wedding house!” The next time we walk on the beach from the house, it will be to get married! Only 9 months! Now for Mansday Wednesday!
While eating supper one night, I was devastated to learn of the suicide of one of my favorite actors, Robin Williams. I feel a deep hurt for his family and can’t imagine what they are going through. Here was a man who seemingly had it all but was empty. I recently saw a statistic that women are more likely to attempt to suicide, but men are more likely to succeed at it. We all go through so much, and mental illness seems to be growing as a problem. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “Each year about 6.7% of U.S adults experience major depressive disorder.” That’s almost 500,000 people. Some statistics say that number is higher. And those are just the documented cases.
Our men are stressed. They are down in the dumps. They feel inadequate. A man feels responsible for all of those in the household. They worry about the bills, their jobs, college, cars to buy, food to eat, things we need. They have minds constantly on the future mainly because they are programmed that way. Men, or most men, feel the need to be the provider. And when they don’t feel they are providing, their needs aren’t met. Ladies, it’s practically impossible to ensure that the need to provide is met. After all, things happen, cars break down, electric bills are high, tuition costs rise, hours are cut, economies worsen. Preventing stress in this area is out of our hands. But not out of God’s hands.
I know that sometimes biology is the reason for depression, but sometimes it’s the environment. Wives build onto the stress sometimes. Now I know that not everyone is perfect. We aren’t married yet, but sometimes we fight like a husband and wife who have been married 20 years. It’s hard to live together and be around each other all of the time. And it’s ok to fight. Some say when the fighting stops so has the passion. But it kills me to know that I contribute to J’s stress and feelings of inadequacy. I’m sure those in Robin Williams’ life are dealing with questions and guilt. I never want to be in their position.
So today I am taking a proactive stance in my future husband’s mental health. I want to be his happy place, his peace and understanding, his lap to lay his head on, his shoulder to lean on, and the one who builds him up and doesn’t bring him down. Even that isn’t enough sometimes because I can’t control everything. But I know someone who does. I am making the choice to lift my future husband and father of my children, love of my life, hunka hunka burning love up in prayer every. single. day. God knows the hairs on his head, worries in his heart, and thoughts on his mind. I turn J, and our future marriage, over to Him. My friend over at True Agape has some amazing tips and pins on blessing your marriage and relationship, but the pin below really stuck out to me:
I have a game plan, and I’m going to use it. I’m going to pray everyday for my man and my marriage. I want to bless him as he has blessed me. J has stepped in to fill a role of father to girls who didn’t have one. He has become the man in our life who is going to be our provider and strength. He has taken on a responsibility that is overwhelming. I don’t ever want him to feel like he isn’t enough. He is more than enough. My cup runneth over. I will pray for him because I love him. I want to know that at the end of the day he feels like a king of his castle, not the punchline of a horrible joke. Ladies, pray for your husbands, your fiances, your boyfriends, your sons, your dads. Pray for the men in your life. Bless them as they bless us.